ameliorate

Seriously:

2005-09-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

Word. And, word again. And Jesus H. Christ, someone needs to pay for this.

The three month update.....

2005-09-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

I've been in San Francisco for three months, now, officially. It is strange to think we've already been here that long. I still feel like I barely know my own neighborhood, let alone know the lay of the entire land just yet. I know that I love going to the Ferry Building on Saturday mornings, arriving with an empty tote bag and leaving with it full of strawberries and the most delicious peaches and corn and Acme bread and Cowgirl Creamery cheese. I love getting a pastry at Frog Hollow Farms and a cup of coffee and sitting on the benches near the water, then schlepping home for a nap before heading out again. I love walking around on my lunch break in Union Square and going into Neiman Marcus to ogle the $600 shoes. I love getting sushi on Polk Street, and I especially love when it is half price sake time. I love hitting up the subterranean wine bar around the corner from our house, and I love that we're on a first name basis with the owners now. I love walking through Chinatown to North Beach, and over to Union Street for some window shopping. I love that there are a million galleries just on my street alone, and a million more around the corner. I love that Napa and Sonoma and Monterey and Big Sur are all a stone's throw away.

I don't love my job, but that's okay. I went ahead and got a new one, and I start right after we get back from Hawaii in a few weeks. I don't love that I can't wear 4 inch heels to walk around, and that saddens me, but I'm trying to get used to it.

I feel lucky to have a home. I feel lucky to know where my family is. I feel lucky to be safe.

Hola from SF

2005-06-16T16:18:00.000-07:00

So. Hmm. Hi there. How are you? Why, yes, yes it has been over a month since I last updated. Can I still use the excuse that I moved and started a new job and generally had a total fucking upheaval in my life? Yes? Great. Let's move on then, shall we?
So now I live in San Francisco, in a really awesome little apartment in Nob Hill. Or, some may argue, in the "Tender-Nob", since I am in between very fancy Nob Hill and very ghetto, crack whore ridden Tenderloin. Hence, Tender-Nob. But I think that Tender-Nob sounds vaguely dirty, so I'm keeping it simple: Nob Hill. The new job is good, and I will keep it at that, for the time being. The Peanut and I have been doing lots of exploring, lots of walking and lots of eating. So far we've found a great sushi place with half price sake, a place charmingly called Citizen Cupcake with, umm, really good cupcakes, and delicious, delicious Thai food. There is ridiculous shopping and museums and galleries and weird films being put on by some Socialist organization (a movie with nuns! and cheerleaders!). In a nutshell, we're really very happy that we made this move. And I will write a more thorough update soon. Scout's honor.

I'm spilling!

2005-05-11T21:46:00.000-07:00

OK, so it's just a few days past when I said I would spill the news, right? Life, that big, crazy thing we call life, got in the way a little. Here's the deal: I've quit my crappy, demeaning job, gave notice on my apartment, sold my car, got a newer, more fabulous job, signed the lease on a newer, more fabulous apartment, and am moving to San Francisco in two weeks. How awesome is that? The Peanut and I are so excited about this move that we can barely contain ourselves. Our days are spent perusing the internet for news of what's happening in our new city, calling each other at work and saying, "Can you believe how much there is to do? What will we do on June 15th...see The Roots or go to the opening of that new wine bar?". It's unreal. We are both city kids, and have lived in our little hamlet of Santa Barbara for almost four years. It's time.

So. My job. I wish I could easily summarize how bad my job had gotten over the past six months or so. It's no small task, but here are the highlights: My C.O.O. (to be known in this tale as The Soulless Bitch) had taken to hurling awful, hateful, really personal insults at me, and then telling them to other people in management as a humorous anecdote over dinner. Insults that had absolutely nothing to do with my job performance, mind you. She had also made incredibly racist, small-minded comments to my manager, and then essentially threatened her job if she told anyone, in so many words. There were people being fired in my company, left and right, for seemingly no reason, which of course resulted in everyone on my team walking through the workday on eggshells, terrified that they may be next. My manager's response to all of this was to pull me into her office on a weekly basis to both cry on my shoulder and then tell me how much The Soulless Bitch hated me. Neat, huh? Our corporate office, which is based in Dallas, decided in January that we had far too much freedom in our office here, so they set up "guidelines" for the recruiters. These "guidelines" were nothing more than quotas, and if you failed to meet any one of them, you were to be put on a performance review plan. Find yourself on a performance review plan two quarters in a row? Later, baby. This resulted in my manager having to micromanage to the point were she was literally looking over my shoulder most days. I mean, literally in my office, behind my chair, checking out what I was doing. Finally, during my annual performance review, the straw? Crashed right through the camel's back. I never, ever worried about my reviews. I have always "exceeded expectations", and I have always walked away with a little more money. This time, The Soulless Bitch basically ordered my boss to give me a shit review, and not give me a raise. I marched back to my office (this, on March 24), called The Peanut, and asked him if he was ready to make a move (well, once I stopped sobbing and cursing and throwing things. Thank god I have a door to my office, huh?). There are another three people preparing to quit in the next few weeks, and then a few more who are looking. I would say I wish to be a fly on the wall when that shit goes down and the office falls apart, but really, just knowing is enough.

I didn't like what this job had turned me into. I didn't like that I had become one of those people who couldn't leave work at the office. I had been lying awake most nights, either thinking of everything I needed to do the next day to avoid being fired, or having imaginary conversations with The Soulless Bitch. Either way, I was too tired most days to hang out after work with friends, or go to the gym at lunch. I stopped taking care of myself and was consumed with what my job had done to my life. I stopped writing in this space. I was reading less, listening to music less, having less fun, generally. It had to stop. Tomorrow is my last day. One of my fellow recruiters, whom I am going to miss terribly, is taking me out for sushi and perhaps, sake. Some co-workers are getting me a strawberry whipped cream cake from the most fabulous bakery in Santa Barbara. I've heard a rumor that there is a gift certificate for a spa day floating around with my name on it. Best of all? The Soulless Bitch is out of the office tomorrow. I'm vowing to walk out of there on a high note.

Big Thing that I can't tell you about. Yet.

2005-04-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

So yeah. Here's the thing. I have something big brewing. Something that is consuming my every waking thought, all of my weekends, and most of my energy. But sadly, I can't talk about it yet. This, my friends, is the reason I haven't posted in almost a month. It's not laziness! I swear! It's just....a lack of anything else to talk about. I will be able to spill it all on May 2nd, so do so stay tuned.
Other than Big Things? The wedding went really, really well. There were lots of last minute disasters, but we managed to shield the bride as much as humanly possibly, and in the end everything worked out. It was so much fun to hang out with my old crew, and the best thing is? My girl Alicia from NYC is coming to Santa Barbara in three weeks! Too, too excited. We're going to eat at fabulous restaurants and go wine tasting and do a spa day and probably shop too much and talk too much and laugh too much. It will be awesome. The Peanut and I are going to San Diego this weekend to see the fam, and perhaps, just perhaps, buy a new bed. Our bed now is so very uncomfortable, and we're both getting of sick of waking up with our backs crying out in pain, so it's time. Has anyone had any experience with the Sleep Number beds? I'm intrigued by the commercials.
OK, so you have my promise that I will spill the Big Amazing News in three weeks. Woo!

Hola

2005-03-23T16:03:00.000-08:00

Hey there. So yes, it's been exactly 15 days since my last post, and what can I say? I've turned into a slacker when it comes to this site. I've also become a slacker when it comes to returning my friends' emails and phone calls, as well as hanging out with anyone besides my desk and computer Sunday through Friday. The Office is a demanding mistress, and I simply don't see an end in sight. To further stress me out, several people have been fired in the last few weeks, and one person announced today that she is giving notice. This is a major for an office with only about 20 people on staff. I fear it truly is all going to hell in a handbasket.

In better news, the Peanut and I are leaving tomorrow for Lesly's wedding, so I will have four fabulous days away from here. Joy! I must pack tonight, a task that does not bring me much pleasure. I am fucking awesome when it comes to underpacking, overpacking, packing the wrong things, packing summery clothes when it's actually 50 degrees...it's sad. It's even more sad because you would think that I would be the packing queen for all of the traveling that I do. I did buy a big honking Coach carry on, which has brought me much pleasure. It fits my snazzy red neck pillow, my toiletries bag, my magazines and books, and pretty much anything else I need to stuff in there. I refuse to put anything in the overheard, so shoving it under the seat in front of me is not so much fun, and I'm convinced I'm going to get bitch slapped by one of those testy flight attendants, but so far I've lucked out.

The Peanut has taken up knitting recently, which is great because a) he's a fidgety guy, and the knitting has calmed his fidgeting ways and b) he's knitting stuff for me, so bonus! His hobby produces gifts for me, and I like that concept. He should totally take up diamond mining for his next hobby. To balance things out, I'm sure he'd like me to let you all know that he also enjoys guns, knives and Scotch.

Hmmm. It's taken me about an hour to write this, because my job? It sucks. Hopefully I'll have lots of fun tales to share of wedding goodness next week. Bye, y'all.

Barely an update, but what can ya do?

2005-03-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

Hello, lovelies. I'm afraid I took a bit of an unplanned hiatus, and truth be told, this may be just a blip in the hiatus. The Office is a little maddening right now, and I'm not sure when I'll get out from under the pile 'o crap that has collected on my desk. There is still the Thing We're Not Talking About, but at the same time I'm trying to throw myself into my work and I'm trying to avoid the politics of The Office as much as humanly possible. Once I'm home at night or on the weekend, the last thing that I feel like doing is sitting in front of the computer, hence the hiatus. Let's see, what has been going on besides the whole work thing? The Peanut and I are buying our tickets for our Napa trip in May, where we'll be meeting up with the fabulous K and J. I am so excited about this trip. We went to Napa for my 30th birthday, and had the best time ever. We're staying at the same B&B, and will be having dinner at French Laundry. Woo! We're also heading to Bakersfield in a few weeks for Lesly's wedding. While I'm not so excited about Bakersfield, I am supremely excited about spending the weekend with my old crew again. So there are good things happening in general, it's just the day to day stuff that kind of sucks. Alas. I'm hoping things will calm down soon and we can get back to our regularly scheduled program, because I feel as though I've been abandoning this little blog, and that's not a good feeling. Hang in there with me, people.

One more thing....

2005-02-25T23:59:00.000-08:00

Big, huge congrats to Sundry and JB!! It's official. The entire internet is pregnant! In any case, they are going to be great parents, and I'm sure that Dog and Cat will welcome the new family member with open paws. Hands. Something like that. Woo!

Ya take the good, ya take the bad, ya take them both....

2005-02-25T23:08:00.000-08:00

Well. I have been on death's doorstep all week, and it is only today that I'm able to walk to the bathroom from the couch without feeling like I had just run a marathon. I have bronchitis and the flu....who gets both at the same time? Me, apparently. I've basically spent the week swigging from my bottle of cough syrup with codeine (Mmmm. Codeine.), popping my anti-biotics and taking shots from the inhaler. While my family doctor kind of sucks and can never, ever fit me in for an appointment when I'm sick, the kind people at my local Urgent Care were quite fabulous, and I'm definitely feeling better. They even wrote me a note for my stupid office so that they could stop thinking that I was faking it. Ahem. Anyway. The Peanut has spent the better part of the week avoiding me, as he is super germ phobic. While he will gladly go to the store for me for popsicles and the like, he will not touch me, sleep in the same bed with me, or allow me to touch anything that he may in the future touch. I'm thinking of getting one of those plastic bubbles made popular in the seventies so as not to frighten him with the threat of my germs.
Luckily, I didn't get sick until I got on the plane to fly back home on Monday. I had the most amazing time in DC. Everything went as it was supposed to with the bachelorette, and my girls and I had a great time all around. Friday was a marathon shopping day, with the full bridal party. Friday night Shari and I headed back to the hotel after hanging out at Lesly and Jole's, and hit up a great little restaurant near our hotel. It was a chilly night, and we knew we'd found the place for dinner (at 10:30!) when we walked in and there was a fire in the fireplace and some blues playing and everyone seemed warm and happy. We had a nice meal, and sat at the bar with a glass of port and a smoke, chatting up the folks next to us. After we got back to the hotel we stayed up for hours, talking, talking, talking. Shari is my girl from college, and although we don't see each other often, we pick up right where we left off and don't miss a beat. There is always so much to catch up on, so much to say. The next day we slept late, went for sushi and sake in Dupont, then headed to Georgetown for a little more shopping. Can I tell you all how happy I was to see that there is now a shuttle from Dupont to Georgetown? Finally! I fell in love at Blue Mercury, and a little more in love at Lush. I found a pair of Kangaroos (Do you all remember 'Roos? The sneakers with the little zipper pocket on the side?) for my sister, for which she has been searching for years, literally. That was probably my best purchase all weekend. Saturday night was the big blowout, and it went so well. Dinner was great, with about 15 of us in attendance. We went to the lounge at Helix after that, and then on to the 18th Street Lounge, which was one of my old haunts when I lived in DC. My girl Alicia came down from NYC, and it was such a blast to hang out with her again after six years of not seeing her. Six years! Ugh. We ended up at a diner in Dupont at about 4am, and I'll tell you this for free: if Lesly didn't get enough bridal attention with her veil and entourage throughout the evening? She more than made up for it with 100 drunken gay men eating breakfast at 4 in the morning. Good times. We didn't get to bed until almost 7, but it was all so worth it. Sunday, Shari and I hit up the Front Page for brunch, and then she had to head to the airport. Lesly, Jole and I hung out on Sunday, ordered in some pizza and watched lots of bad tv. The perfect end to the perfect weekend. I think the best part is that I'll get to see all of these people again in a month for the wedding. That is awesome.

We're not talking about it

2005-02-17T10:08:00.000-08:00

Because I cannot write about That Which Plagues Me, I will write about everything else, but know this, dear friends, That Which Plagues Me is likely to creep its way into most of my thoughts, so look sharp for those little nasty beads of negativity.
I'm leaving for DC tonight, and am so very excited. I'm all packed and organized and prepared for what I hope will be a restful night of sleep on the plane. I finally caved in and bought one of those snazzy little squishy neck pillows that seem to be all the rage with frequent fliers these days. I've procured a little pill to pop before we take off. I'll grab some sushi with the Peanut before I go to the airport so I won't be hungry. I will do all of these things because I need to hit the ground running once in DC, as there is much to do. There is so much to do that I can't imagine squeezing it into three days, but I'm sure it will be fun to try. Tomorrow there is lunch followed by shopping followed by happy hour followed by dinner followed by a bar or two. Saturday there will be visits to some of my old haunts, and then the bachelorette goodness kicks in. Dinner and clubs, with 19 of us in tow. It will be grand. Sunday there is a throwback to my college days with brunch at The Front Page (how many Sundays did we spend there, our little group, drinking champs until 3 and then going back to someone's house to watch movies and nap?). I'm checking out of the hotel on Sunday and spending Sunday night at Lesly's, and then it's back on the plane Monday morning. And then there will be work the following day, that bitch.

I've managed to fix the bridesmaid dress issue, by just going and buying an entire new dress in the same color as the old one. I will sell the old one on Ebay or something. I actually really like the new dress...it's strapless, tea length, empire waist, A-line...it's really quite adorable. And while Jillian and Shari and I will all be wearing different dresses, they are the same color and the same material. So it all worked out in the end, you see? We're going to the counters at Neiman's on Saturday to decide on make-up and hair, and we still have to get earrings, but other than that, everything is taken care of.

I seem to be developing some sort of weird eye infection, which sucks. I recently started wearing contacts again because I was just getting sick of wearing my glasses, cute as they are. I don't know if this eye thing is related to the contacts or what, but my eye, it hurts. I'm trying to get in to see my eye doctor this afternoon, hoping that they can wave a magic wand and make it go away.

Have a fabulous weekend, all of you. I'll be sure to catch you up on all of the DC gossip when I return.

Silenced by the MAN

2005-02-09T09:13:00.000-08:00

My entries have been a bit disjointed recently. This is due to the fact that the one thing I want to write about, that I need to write about, I cannot. I'm way too paranoid right now to write about said thing, and also? The Man is cracking down on internet usage at Office, and it sucks (I apparently spent 41 minutes on the internet the other day. Thanks, IT guy!). In any case, I'm hoping that one day soon I'll be able to tell you all about it. Or perhaps? Once it's over I'll never speak of it again. Ugh, I don't mean to be cryptic, but I don't want to get Dooced, you know?

Let's move on to something a bit more positive, shall we? I'm heading to DC next Thursday, and I couldn't be more excited about it. Not only do I get to see my two very best friends from college, but I'll get to do it in a city that I love, where I haven't been back since I moved away six years ago. Yah! We have lots planned, including dinner at the best Ethiopian place ever, loads of shopping for the upcoming wedding, and probably? Drinking. It will be great. I'll also get to see a ton of other old friends that I haven't seen in years, and I'll get to meet both of Lesly's cats, which will be awesome. My one concern is the whole being cold factor. I've become the biggest puss over the years about cold weather. I tried to buy a winter coat this week, but strangely enough, I wasn't able to find anything (it's been about 70 degrees here all week). I bought a little something at Ann Taylor that could perhaps pass as a winter coat if I do a lot of layering. And I should probably buy a scarf. And gloves. Ugh.

The Great Mental Health Day, '05

2005-02-07T13:34:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning, thought to myself, Crap, it's only Monday, and promptly decided that this would be a perfect day to just not go to work. And it was so. I very, very rarely slack off and just not go in to the office without a really good excuse, but I'm a firm believer in the occasional mental health day, so that's what we're calling this. The Great Mental Health Day, '05. What do you think? Catchy, no?
It amazes me how staying at home during the work week lends itself to wanting to eat every single last thing in the house. So far I've had two veggie dogs, a protein shake and almost an entire box of reduced fat Wheat Thins, and I've only been awake, like, two hours. Alas, I should perhaps never eat anything again, as I went to the tailor this morning with my bridesmaid dress, and it did not go well. I don't know if I've gone into the saga that is my bridesmaid dress, but suffice it to say, the wedding is in six weeks and I don't think I can wear the dress. Basically, the dress was made for a porn star, and a porn star I'm not. The boob area is giant. Giant. And I am not lacking so much in the boob department, so I'm talking about a girl with a healthy size EEE would look fucking fabulous in this dress. Also? The waist is about 26 inches. Yeah. Ahem. Not so much a 26. With triple E boobage. So my tailor, whom I love, took one look at it and said that I need to return this dress immediately because it is, in his words, mishapen. Unfortunately the company where we purchased our dresses doesn't do exchanges or refunds, so I'm totally, totally fucked. I have no idea what to do, but I've decided that since this is The Great Mental Health Day, '05, I'm not going to think on it.
The Peanut and I went to our friend's house for a Superbowl party (um, who played? who won? who cares.) yesterday, and it was a good time. There was way, way too much food, and JR made this fantastic chili dip thing with cream cheese that is to die for. I made my famous jello pretzel crack (shut up. It's totally good) which was very well received. My friend April announced to all of us that she just got a job at Rutgers and is moving to New Jersey in three weeks (she just wrapped up her PhD). This is amazing, amazing news for her, but she is going to be missed, not least of all by her boyfriend, who has to finish up his PhD before following her to NJ. So it was a bittersweet day.
OK then. All of my DVR'd stuff is calling my name, not to mention three new Netflix movies. There is much to do!

I'm tired, so do so enjoy the lamest entry ever

2005-02-02T22:05:00.000-08:00

Can I just say how I am so looking forward to it being Friday? I'm actually toying with the idea of being "sick" on Friday, just because it's been that kind of week (although, with all of the sneezing and coughing and blowing of noses happening in my office right now, I'm convinced I'll probably really be sick , and won't that suck?). I've been quite cranky this week, and I'm really just so over my job right now. I'm having that paranoid feeling where I don't want to write too much about said job, but suffice it to say, I'm not happy, and I'm looking elsewhere. There. I can't get fired for saying that, right? Right?
I've also been incredibly sore this week, as I've gone back to strength training twice a week. It's been months since I've worked out with weights or the exercise ball thingy or anything like that, so I'm kind of having trouble lifting my arms. However? I'm going to Hawaii in eight months, so my ass, sore or not, needs to be at the gym every day. Except Saturdays, because Saturdays are for delicious food and wine and not an ounce of exercise. Well, this week there will be all of those things on Sunday, as well, since we're going to JR and Big D's house for their annual Superbowl party. The Peanut and I don't watch football, but we like the munchies and beer and company, so why not?
Hmm, this is a bit of a lame entry, but it's late, I'm tired and my lovely down comforter is calling my name. But big, big shout out to Amalah on her fabulous news! She and Jason are going to be amazing parents, and will probably have the world's most well dressed baby, no?

Join it.....

2005-02-01T22:24:00.000-08:00

Sooo, you know you want to join my notify list, right? Cause I loves you, baby. Also? All of the cool kids are totally doing it. You should, too!

Wedded Bliss

2005-02-01T14:59:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I've mentioned here before that I have a plethora of weddings to attend this year. Next month my best friend from college is getting married, and I'm a bridesmaid in that one. I'm heading to DC in a few weeks for the bachelorette goodness, and I'm up to my ears in planning. We've reserved a room at DC Coast for about 30 girls, but now it's looking like only about half are actually going to attend. This is kind of a bummer, because there is a minimum of $1200 for the room, so the other bridesmaids and I are totally going to eat it. I'm trying to not let it stress me out, because my girl Les would do the same for me. Then one of the girls that I grew up with is getting married this summer, in Pennsylvania, and in September, my girl JR is getting married in Hawaii. The Peanut and I bought our plane tickets this morning for that, and scored such an incredible deal, and we're staying in my officemate's dad's condo (uh, that was convoluted) for next to nothing. This means that there will be plenty of Hawaii money for the important things, like shopping and liquor. Woo.
In any case, all of this wedding mumbo jumbo has me, well, jealous. The Peanut and I have been together for almost five years. We know we're going to get married. Hell, we're damn close to being married now, with the paying of the bills and domestic trials and tribulations and the like. There is just the small issue of the actual, you know, wedding. I'm living vicariously through my girlfriends, all of them. You know sometimes when you have a friend that's getting married and that's all she wants to talk about and you just want to say, Oh my god, there's more to life than your wedding? Yeah, it's not like that at all. It's more like, let me help you. Let me tell you about my opinions on flowers and wine and food and etiquette. Let me live through you, cause it ain't happenin' for me this very moment. I know it will happen soon, and I want to be surprised, but at the same time, just do it, for the love of all that is sweet and holy.
I don't know when I turned into this person. Little known fact, here, people: I was previously engaged. It was a ghetto engagement, sans ring, but honestly? I didn't care. I didn't buy a single bridal magazine. I forgot to tell people. When my then-fiancee would start talking about places and dates and all that, I would zone out. I simply didn't care. When I fled DC for California, thus fleeing the then-fiancee, I didn't mourn the loss of the engagement. Again, I totally didn't care. When the Peanut and I met shortly thereafter, I knew very early on that this was the person I intended to be with the rest of my life. We have a lot of weird circumstances regarding our meeting and subsequent relationship (example: When I moved to CA, with only a suitcase, I stayed with a friend of my sister's near La Jolla for a few months. When I moved into my own place and started working, I met the Peanut and found out that he had grown up next door to where I was staying, and had moved out right before I moved in. Weird, no?). But I still didn't start really thinking about marriage until about three years into our relationship. Where it hit me like a ton of proverbial bricks. And then suddenly, all of our friends were getting married, and I wanted to, too. Badly. I don't want to be that girl who becomes obsessed. I really don't. But it's a hard line to walk. I'm trying, though, Peanut. For real, tho.

A Good Day

2005-01-28T13:55:00.000-08:00

Yes, my friends, it has stopped raining, it is Friday, and I am in possession of the most beautiful Marc Jacobs shoes ever, and they were half price. Does it get any better than this?

A Little Bit Bitter. Is that so wrong?

2005-01-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

So, much drama and craziness has been going on at Office (not to be confused with The Office, because, damn, my job just isn't that funny), so please do excuse me for the lengthy hiatus. It seems that my department just isn't showing enough intensity for my immediate manager's taste, even though I've been working my fingers to the bone and staying late and waking up at 3am and needing to make fucking to-do lists because I am so overwhelmed. Essentially, she feels that while said department is producing what we need to be producing, we're just not showing the intensity she wants to see. I guess I need to be shuffling more papers around and running, not walking, to the fax room, and perhaps I should cry in a meeting or two? Perhaps then I'll be showing the intensity she is requiring.

Um, do I sound bitter? Cause I am. For real, tho.

In any case, I'm just trying to stay away from the manager for a while, tuck in and do my job. I'm good at my job, dammit, and I don't like it when it is implied that I am not. Not that she would ever say that I'm not good at my job, but the fucking implication is there, you know? What is so ironic is that she is not so hot at her job. She has definite strongpoints, and she tries very hard, but the fact is, she has had no management experience heretofore. I have far more management experience than she (not that I'm going to point that out or anything but you know, she's seen my CV), so sometimes it pains me to see the mistakes she is making. Bah.

Let's talk about something good, shall we? For those of you in the Santa Barbara area, you'll be pleased to hear that Blue Bee is having one of their fabulous sales this weekend, and I plan on snagging a pair of Marc Jacobs shoes (or two. or three.) for 50% off, cause damn, that's cheap. If you wait until Sunday, they'll up the discount to 70%, but the lines can be out the door. It's a tiny store, after all. There also might be a pair of Pucci sandals in the future for me, because nothing says springtime like Pucci, no? The Peanut's best friend from San Diego is coming up this weekend, so perhaps there will be lots of girl time for me. When he and Rob get together, all they want to do is blab about cameras and computers, and take pictures and play with the pictures on the computer and you know? I'm just not super interested. I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing the result, and I like seeing how the pictures start and how they end up, but the actual process? Eh. So I will grab JR and make her shop with me. There is also the Santa Barbara Film Festival this weekend, so I anticipate a movie or two in my future. The bachelorette party planning is going well. The Evite has been sent, the restaurant has been reserved. I've even bought my tickets and made a reservation at the hotel (here, which I'm excited about). One of my best friends from college and I are going to share a room, so we're going to pretend we're living in the dorms again (shout out, Mitchell Hall!). Good times.

TGIF, Bitches

2005-01-14T14:44:00.000-08:00

I am so very, very glad that it is Friday. The past two weeks have been insane at work, and I have a fear that this is setting the tone for the rest of the year. The piles of work on my desk keep growing, and every time I start to work on a project, something else comes up. I've resorted to writing to-do lists, so that I have some sense of accomplishment each day when I can scratch off one of the eleventy million things I have written down. It's not pretty. And does no one in upper management see the irony in having two meetings this week that were essentially about time management? Don't they see that the fact that they force me to attend multiple meetings every day cuts into my, you know, work time? On Wednesday I spent six out of the nine hours at work in a meeting. It's so very, very stupid.
But alas, it is Friday, and it's finally stopped raining here, and the weather is beautiful. Last weekend I barely left the house because I didn't feel like trudging through six inches of water to get to my car, but this weekend...WOO! I mean, I'm not going to like, freak out, and drink tequila and snort coke off a stripper's ass, but I am going to happy hour tonight with some friends, and then wine tasting tomorrow. Maybe dinner and a movie tomorrow night, and Sunday JR and I are going shopping. So you know, that kind of WOO!.
I've also gone back to the gym in the last few weeks, and I've apparently done something really, really bad to my knee. In Spinning last night I had a little twinge in my left knee at the beginning of class, but it went away by the time I had finished. This morning, though, I feel like my knee might just break right off and crawl away and die. It really hurts. I've never had any sports-related injuries before, so I'm unclear what to do. Ice? Heat? Stop wearing four inch heels everyday? Liquor? If any of you have some idea, do so let me know. Otherwise, I may just hobble around forever.

Totally not dead or anything like that

2005-01-13T10:57:00.000-08:00

Hey kids. Just a verrryyyy short note to say that I'm not dead or anything like that. Work is just consuming every moment of my time, and I'm planning a bacherlorette party in DC for thirty people, and well, I have a lot going on. We've had floods and mudslides and all sorts of gnarly weather going on, which isn't helping. It's finally clearing up and I'm no longer afraid to drive for fear of being swept away. Good times. In any case, I promise to write a little something more interesting soon. Ciao.

Listmania

2005-01-03T15:29:00.000-08:00

I'm sort of a little bit dumbfounded that the new year is actually here, that it is happening as I write. The past month has been the proverbial blur, and I've been something of a slacker keeping up the writing in this little space. In a nutshell, there have been some holiday parties, a trip back East, the worst storm Santa Barbara has seen, well, since I've lived here, and two whole days without electricity, hot water and heat. There was yet another bout of lost luggage, one that resulted in a bunch of my stuff being damaged, including my favorite Coach bag, my second favorite pair of pointy toed boots, and most of the books I got for Christmas. There was a kick ass New Year's karaoke party, that ended with my friend C and I doing "Angel of the Morning" (yes, Juice Newton) as a duet, and it was awesome. Umm, what have I forgotten? Let's just wrap up the year in one of those snazzy little lists that all the cool kids are doing this year, shall we? I'm stealing mine from Sundry.
1. What did you do in 2004 that you haven't done before? Hmm. Rented a house for a week in another country. Sang karaoke.
2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I'll get back to you next year on this one.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope.
4. Did anyone close to you die? My uncle, suddenly and quietly.
5. What countries did you visit? Mexico. But not like, Tiajuana. San Miguel de Allende.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you didn't get in 2004? An engagement ring.
7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? No specific dates, but the weekend spent in San Francisco with K and J was pretty awesome. Also? Halloween in Vegas.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Making it though one more year at my job.
9. What was your biggest failure? Not getting entirely out of debt. Yet.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Um, two abscesses resulting in two root canals. That sucked.
11. What was the best thing you bought?My brown suede Coach bag, because I love it.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Jon Stewart (ripping off Sundry a little, but it's true!)
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The entire Bush administration.
14. Where did most of your money go? Rent. Car. Stuff that I don't need but am compelled to buy.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Our Mexico trip. Actually, most of our trips, because I live for that sort of thing.
16. What song will always remind you of 2004? The Garden State soundtrack, because I played it in my car for no less than three months straight.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? I'd like to think a little happier, but I'm not sure how to gage that sort of thing. b) thinner or fatter? I think about the same, though if you asked me that questions three months ago I would have answered thinner, by all means. c) richer or poorer? richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Spent time with my friends. Gone to the gym and ate healthier, consistently. Read more. Been more cautious with my money.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Dwelling on the negative. Hating my job. Worrying about what I don't have instead of what I do.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? I guess I'm a bit late. I spent it with my parents, eating, drinking, napping and watching movies. It was awesome.
21. Did you fall in love in 2004? Hmm. Does more in love count?
22. How many one-night stands? Not a one.
23. What was your favorite TV program?Lost, Lost and Lost. Ooh, and Law and Order (rip Lenny!)
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No. Well, I dislike someone greatly, but I don't hate.
25. What was the best book you read? Middlesex. A Handmaid's Tale (re-read). The Namesake. Umm, I can't possibly pick just one.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?I dunno. Dangermouse I like. I've been boring this year with music, listening to a lot of old stuff. I rediscovered Liz Phair, and that was fun (old Liz, NOT the new crap).
27. What did you want and get? A few Coach bags. A few good vacations.
28. What did you want and not get?An engagement ring.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? Garden State.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?I turned 31 in October, and spent my birthday proper having dinner with the Peanut here, and then spent the next two weeks doing birthday related things, like going to Vegas, having a spa day, and eating the best cake in the world with my homegirl J.
31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Eh, I'm not down with regret.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? Concept, huh? Well, I try to look really good all the time. Is that a concept? I stayed away from those poncho things and Uggs, and continued spending too much money on shoes and bags. The rest is just filler anyway, no?
33. What kept you sane? The Peanut. My friends. Sephora.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Um, Viggo Mortenson. Johnny Depp. I also have a non-sexual yet raging crush on Morimoto. Who knew?
35. What political issue stirred you the most? Christ. Well, how much time do you have? The war. Abortion. The environment. Education. That dumb fucking look on W's face all the time.
36. Who did you miss? All my girls from back East that I will finally get to see, all together, in March when my best friend gets married. My sister, who moved to New Jersey in August. The Peanut, when he was in Oaxaca.
37. Who was the best new person you met? Hmm. I have no idea. Wait, I know. My new officemate. She's pretty neat.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.That I'm never going to be 100% satisfied with my life, and that I need to learn to be happy with all of the good things that I do have.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. I am drawing a complete and utter blank. I'll think on it and get back to you.

Sugar Sugar

2004-12-21T16:00:00.000-08:00

Update on the potluck: How is one supposed to feel after three caramel brownies, some pumpkin sludge and a vat of chocolate mousse? Because I just slept my way through a meeting, and I am blaming it squarely on the sugar. I had a very brief high, and have now crashed my way down to an embarrassing level. You know when people are talking and you kind of zone out? Yeah, that happened, except they were totally talking to me. Sad, huh?

Not so much with the potluck.

2004-12-21T11:23:00.000-08:00

The Peanut and I celebrated Christmas on Saturday, and it went swimmingly. He got me a lovely new Coach bag (here, in black, if you care about that sort of thing), and I got him a set of highball glasses and a decanter for his scotch from Vera Wang. Also, a really good bottle of scotch. He was pleased, I think. We went to breakfast and then saw Ocean's 12, during which I fell asleep, not because it wasn't good, but because I am apparently very old now, and can't seem to stay awake through an entire movie. In the past year, I've fallen asleep during Elf, Anchorman, and now Ocean's 12. It kind of sucks. In any case, even though I missed about 15 minutes of the movie, I thought it was good. I walked out a little confused, but I'm going to attribute that to my ill-taken nap. We had a nice dinner (here) and it was incredible. I love finding a new restaurant that I haven't ever been to that ends up being amazing. Always a good time.
Peanut left for Oaxaca, Mexico on Sunday. He was excited about the photography opportunities, but not so excited about spending five days alone with his mother. Well, "not so excited" may not be a good representation of his feelings. His last text message to me said simply, "I want to die". Not a good sign. Hopefully, though, once they get there he can go off by himself and take pretty pictures and not get sucked into the drama case that is his mother. I'm leaving tomorrow for Pennsylvania to see my parents for a few days, but my sister isn't able to come home and I am bitter. She is a vet tech in an animal hospital, and apparently someone has to be around during the holidays in case there is a squirrel-related emergency or something. Whatev.
Today is our holiday potluck at work, and it's not looking so good for me. Lots and lots of meat. It kind of sucks my ass. I've been a vegetarian for about 15 years (though I recently started eating fish again. Shut up, I am so a vegetarian. It's easier to say that than to explain that I have no interest eating anything dead unless it's a very specific kind of fish), and while I don't expect people to go out of their way to make sure that there's something on the menu for me, it would be nice if they acknowledged the three vegetarians in the office. Christ. I made spinach dip, and I've heard there may be a salad. Lots of desserts, too. Oh fuck it, I'm sure I'll be fine.

Bah.

2004-12-16T09:38:00.000-08:00

So right at this very moment I should be finishing my Christmas shopping. And when I say "finishing", I mostly mean "starting". What the hell happened to me this year? Last night I went to the mall with the focused intention to buy things for other people. Do you know what I did? C'mon, take a wild guess. Yes, I bought shit for myself. Because I think I may be a bad person. As I was walking up to the counter, as I was handing off my credit card, even as I was walking out of the store with two bags full of clothes, I was thinking, "Self, you should totally put back this stuff and suck up the Christmas spirit of giving and you know, give". Alas, the part of me who likes to buy things for other people lost out to the part of me who likes to buy things for myself. There is always today, though! Except. Except, I have a business lunch I must attend, and....

Crap. This just in. The Peanut just called to say the gift that I gave him early (this, if you're interested) took a crap. The hard drive fried. And now that he's done some research he's decided that he doesn't want another one, which means that I have to think of something else to buy him in the next two days because we're having Christmas on Saturday (he's going to Mexico on Sunday for the week). Poop. This is an unfortunate turn of events.

More breaking news. I've consulted with my officemate's husband, and he's given me a fabulous idea. I shall not divulge it, though, because certain prying eyes will read this. I must do some research now and shop later. I'll let you know how it goes.

In further news, the Peanut has graciously fixed it so you do not have to log in to blogger to leave me a comment. Woo! Comment away!

Hey. Remember me? Yeah.

2004-12-09T15:44:00.000-08:00

I just don't think it's fair that my job takes up so much of my time. Whose idea was this? I have phone calls to make and journals to read and entries to write, and none of it is happening because of my cursed job! It's poop, I tell you. Poop.
Let's see, what's been happening around these parts? Went to San Diego for Thanksgiving, and had good times. I think I may have gained at least 6 or 7 pounds in three days (yes it IS possible, I know it). We stayed at the Fun Cousins' house, where there were many, many cats (okay, four), and drank much wine and watched movies and shopped. We came home a day early so that we could have a nice relaxing time at home before coming back to work, which was the best idea ever. Then work blah blah work. Last weekend was the Peanut's company Christmas party, which was drunken and debaucherous, as always. It is always a little precarious to offer an open bar for seven hours to a bunch of dot.com folks who really like to drink. Alot. Hilarity ensued, though the Peanut needed to pass the fucking Courvosier rather than drink it, because vomit on the living room carpet? Not so much fun to clean at 3am, I'll tell you that for free. Our friend Sarah surprised us by coming down from San Francisco that night, and she and I and the Peanut and our friend Paul decided that the bartender should give us bottles (yes, multiple bottles, again and again) of champagne, because it was that kind of night. Saturday morning french toast cured all (and beignets, because it was that kind of restaurant), and the Peanut and I went to get our Christmas tree. Our giant, giant Christmas tree, which was such a bitch to drag up the stairs to our house. But once it was aglow with Christmas goodness, it was all worth it. I'm a total fucking asshat, and had to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas and drink eggnog while we decorated, but sadly the Peanut's hangover caught up with him right around nog time, and I ended up doing most of the tree trimming myself. One of my teetotaler office mates won a few passes to Christmas on the Wine Trail and, knowing our fondness for all things fermented, gave them to us. We headed up there on Sunday and it was a perfect, cold winter day (we don't see much winter around here, so I get kind of excited when it dips below 65), and we had wine and saw some music and ate yummy sandwiches. We came home early and watched movies with only the Christmas tree lights on, and it was a good day.
It was JR's birthday on Tuesday, so we went to our neighborhood hangout and snagged the sofas by the fireplace and had good, warm, fuzzy times. And cheesecake, because what good is a birthday without cake? I took JR to get her very first facial last night, to which she is now addicted. I was really passing on the facial goodness, because years ago, it seems, K and J got me my very first facial for my birthday, and it forever changed me. I'm hoping the same goes for JR. This weekend we have a party at one of the wineries we belong to, and instead of being really dumb and driving home that night we're going to stay in a B&B up north. I'm hoping there's a jacuzzi.

Thanks ever so much

2004-11-24T14:34:00.000-08:00

I'm off to San Diego for the giving of thanks and whatnot. I'll be staying with the Very Fun Cousins, and drinking copious amounts of wine and eating lots of carbs and it will be fabulous. A shout out to the things for which I am thankful:

The Peanut, for putting up with me and being funny and smart and weird, sometimes all at once.
Spa days, because, well, do you really need a reason?
My momma, who is cute because she just got her first computer.
My new Coach bag, because I heart Coach.
My home, when it's clean and cozy and there are candles and music and the sun is setting over the beach a block outside of our window.
My new down comforter, that was most definitely made in some alternate universe especially for me.
My friends, for making me laugh and listening to me bitch and just being generally awesome.
The cheesecake at the Wine Cask.
Delicious wine.
Flying first class three times in the past few months because the airline gods smiled upon me, and it was good.

Oh, I'm sure there are lots of other things, but those are the highlights. I'm also really thankful to have this little blog. I may not have a ton of readers, but it's fun to write again (remember college? when we wrote all the time? what happened to that?). If you're one of my readers, and you are, because you're reading me this very moment, thanks. For real, tho.

Scattered! Thoughts! About nothing!

2004-11-19T16:27:00.000-08:00

Oh hi. How's it going? Great. I've been a total and complete slacker about writing as often as I'd like, and I intend to place the blame squarely on my job. I've barely spoken to any friends (ummm, K and J? Call me? Cause I love you guys?) and haven't really poked my head out into the real world all week. Well, there was that little spa day thing on Monday, but that was so long ago who can even remember?
So yeah, work is hectic. I've been eating like crap. I don't call, I don't write. I can't seem to get my ass to the gym because I've convinced myself that the holidays are upon us and why the hell should I go to the gym when I'm totally going to gain ten pounds anyway, right? Can I get an Amen?? Hello? Anyway, there are plans for the weekend, and next week is a three day week, and life is good for that. Tonight we're going to dinner with JR and Big D, and afterward we'll hang out at their house for libations. Tomorrow there is a shopping expedition planned for down South (woo! Target!), and Sunday I will lie around the house in my pjs and watch Netflix movies and DVR'd stuff and order food. Maybe Indian. Or Thai. I dunno. I'm making plans for what I'll bring to Thanksgiving dinner, but I'm already thinking that the Bourbon Mashed Sweet Potatoes are going to win out over the not as exciting pumpkin soup, although I heart pumpkin soup.
Well, this little entry has gone absolutely nowhere. I promise that something more cohesive is right around the corner. Kisses.

Home

2004-11-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back from almost a month straight of traveling. This week I was in Pennsylvania for a family reunion/birthday party, which was a good time. It is so interesting to go home, isn't it? I don't mean "home" in the sense of the house where my parents live, but "home" as in the town in which I grew up. It never fails to make me so very thankful that I got out of there when I did, because so many people just stayed and didn't go to college and had babies really young and work at Wal-Mart. It's insanity. I know that everyone has a path in life, but I feel so claustrophobic when I think of that life. I ran into an old friend who caught me up on some of our old crew, and I found out that one person who was really important in my life at one point is in jail, and a few people are dead.
It was so cool, though, to see my family all together. Some folks came from San Diego and Denver and Philadelphia, and we had a blast. My family is very laid back, so there was much food and drink and this and that. Good, good times. My grandpap, who turned 80 over the weekend (along with my dad, who turned 53), was so pleased that everyone made the effort to be there. I did some shopping, and momma and I went to lunch a few times. My sister and her boyfriend came from New Jersey with their ball of fur, Koda. The Peanut wasn't able to come back with me as he had a project due, so he was missed. In any case, I've been away from home for too long, and I am totally excited to have two whole weeks without a bit of travel. Peanut and I are going out with friends tonight, and then wine tasting, dinner and a movie tomorrow. I've also purchased a new down comforter that is the softest, fluffiest thing ever, and I can't wait to snuggle under it. Home is good.

Said and done

2004-11-03T15:50:00.000-08:00

There is nothing that I can say that hasn't already been said. Here, for example. Or here. And here, too. I was so angry this morning, and now I feel just, well, sad. Sad and defeated. I'm heading to my parent's house back East for the rest of the week. Maybe when I come back I'll have a different, or at least more hopeful, perspective. Because right now? It ain't happenin'.

Vote, bitches!

2004-11-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

Yeah. What I said.

So very. very. tired.

2004-11-01T13:36:00.000-08:00

Am tired. Also? Cranky. I've slept about eleven hours in the past three days. This entry will not be witty, nor will it entertain (but totally keep reading! Because what else do you have to do?!). While I very much enjoy Las Vegas in all its debaucherous goodness, I do not enjoy the aftermath. And no, I don't think it's because I'm too old. Okay, it's totally because I'm too old, but jesus. I am at work now, and I really can't seem to string a sentence together, or even give the illusion that I care about what is going on. There was also a working lunch today, which means they have stolen my lunch hour, and I am bitter.
Vegas was awesome, we pulled off the big surprise (Big D had no idea where we were taking him when we picked him up on Friday, and had no idea that when we got to Vegas 15 of his friends would be waiting for him), and had a blast. I bought the most beautiful Coach bag I've ever seen (here, in brown, if you're interested in that sort of thing), and have found myself gazing lovingly at it several times today, even in my lack-of-sleep near coma that I am in. We went to the fabulous Fetish and Fantasy Ball, with a thousand or so attendees, and it was a good time. All of our costumes looked great (perhaps I will get the Peanut to post some pictures for your viewing pleasure), and I didn't go to sleep until 6am. Also? Am getting old.
I am getting on yet another plane on Wednesday to go back East for a family reunion/birthday thing. Hopefully I am recovered enough by then. Wish me luck.

Mother. Teacher. Secret Lover.

2004-10-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

I really like TV. No, seriously. A lot. While the Peanut and I do lots of fun things on the weekends, weeknights are all about the television. I used to be all "kill your television" in my youth, and didn't even own a TV for a few years, and then when I did have a one, I didn't have cable for a few more. I used to be all about film, and had (have) quite the movie collection, but now I cave to the warm fuzzy goodness of television. I have some old favorites that I always watch. Namely, every variation of Law and Order. The Simpsons. Any kind of makeover show, including What Not to Wear (by far my favorite) and Queer Eye. I'm a huge fan of the Food Network, and as long as it's not one of those stupid list shows (Top 5 hamburgers! Everything you've ever wanted to know about Twinkies!), I'll watch most things on there. Except anything involving Emeril or Rachael Ray, or that fucked up show whose tagline is: "Make it semi-homemade". Cause bitch is crazy. I like Comedy Central a lot, especially South Park, Mad TV reruns, and The Daily Show (did y'all see Jon Stewart on Crossfire? Because I heart Jon Stewart, and he totally handed Tucker Carlson his ass, and called him a prick. Comedy gold, my friends, comedy gold). I tend to be very suspicious of new shows. I don't like to add anything to my repetoire, because let's face it, I already have quite a bit going on. It's hard for me to catch up on everything stored on my DVR, because there aren't enough hours in the day, mostly. But this season, there is a new show that I've become obsessed with. Like, I can't wait until it comes on, and then when it's over? I'm sad. I'm talking about Lost, of course (props to Amalah for inspiring me to write about the best. show. ever.). Are you all watching? Because you should be. It is so very, very good. There is mystery and intrigue and fantastic story lines and interesting characters. Every week a new layer is revealed, and it's become pastime among my Lost-watching friends and I to discuss what exactly is going on. Because it's super mysterious. We all have our theories, and all seem plausible, until you watch the next episode and realize that your theories are crap. Goddamn it, I love it.

A recap. Do enjoy.

2004-10-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well. The past ten days have been a blur, but I shall try to recreate them for you as best as possible. I left for San Francisco last Friday morning with my co-worker, whom we'll call Junior League (in the best way possible, because I think she's super awesome. For real, though). JL and I had an absolutely fabulous day in SF, after getting some work crap out of the way. We did some shopping and then had drinks, before going to dinner at the Best. Restaurant. Ever. After the 5th glass of wine or so, things got silly. We ended up being there for about three hours, during which we consumed much cheese and bread and delicious other little tidbits, and then took a lovely little walk around the city. A good time was had by all. Saturday morning there was more shopping and eating and an $8 manicure that lasted, no shit, a full week. Alas, the fun came to end at about 3 on Saturday, during our first important conference meeting. Blah. Basically, the following four days went something like this: Wake at the crack of dawn. Stand in booth for eight hours at said conference. Talk non-stop to people who have the same questions over and over again but you totally have to sound fresh and interested because you want these people to come and work for you in a year when they've finished their residency. Go to job fair for two hours, where you talk to more people. About the same things. Over and over and over again. Go to hotel room for 3 minutes to change clothes, cry about your feet hurting, slap on cocktail attire that must include 4 inch heels even though you are totally dying. Go to cocktail party and schmooze some more. Don't eat dinner. Drink much wine. Fall into bed at midnight cursing your job and everyone you've talked to that day. Repeat. Four times. When I got back into town on Thursday I felt like a zombie (though not as cool as Chiara's zombie), but I had to come to work and talk about everything I had talked about during the conference. I seriously now hate the sound of my own voice. It kind of sucked because Thursday was my birthday (I am now officially in my early thirties. Fuck.), but I was not in a celebratory mood. Peanut had class Thursday night, but JR surprised me with the best cake ever, and a very cute Donna Karen bag. I was then further surprised by the Peanut who cut out of the class early to take me to dinner and shower me with presents (spa day...woo!). We did a more formal dinner on Friday night here, which was fabulous. The weekend was spent preparing all of the party favors for Vegas this weekend, which included bags full of candy for each guest (all 18 of them!), and blown up pictures of Big D's face glued to popsicle sticks with which to surprise him when he gets to the hotel to find us all there. I am so very excited about Vegas, as I will be the recipient of a big ass bonus check from work the day I leave, so hello blackjack, hello Sephora, hello bar tab. Ya gotta love Vegas.

Bosses=Assclowns

2004-10-13T15:17:00.000-07:00

Am stressed. Can't think. Too much to do. Blah.
OK, I think I can try and be a little coherent now. I'm currently at work trying to finish up every little last thing, since I won't be here again until next Thursday (woo!). Tomorrow we are having an office "retreat", and oh yes, pay attention to those quotes, my friends, because I would like the head honchos to understand that taking a meeting and plopping it down at a country club does not a retreat make. It's just now we have eight hours of meeting time instead of the regular two or three, and now we are hostage to you, you bastards, because I can't say, "Oh, I forgot something at my desk, be right back" and then go and smoke a cig. And yes, there will be lunch, and that's great, but I am not enticed. I am not excited. We used to have retreats (hee, I just typed "treats") at my old job in DC, and they were fabulous. I worked for an artsy non-profit, so to them, retreat meant, hey, let's load you onto a bus and take you out into the middle of Virginia where there are horses and volley ball and horse shoes, and oh yeah, a whole lotta beer. And food. And sometimes? Margueritas. That was a retreat. Tomorrow? Not so much. Friday morning at the crack of dawn I am off to San Francisco for a very long conference. I have some work related stuff to do once I get to SF, and then have about 24 free hours, in which I plan to shop, get a pedi and a mani, eat, and then perhaps to mix it up, shop some more. And then I will have four days of standing at a booth and schmoozing and standing some more and then a little more schmoozing. It will be exhausting, I am sure, but I plan to be rejuvenated when I come home because it will be my birthday. Woo! I do so love my birthday. Have a lovely week, gentle readers. I shall report all of the San Francisco drama when I return.

Shit or get out of the kitchen

2004-10-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

So yes, much fun was had by all this weekend at the Harvest festival. The fabulous K and J were in town from Seattle (though J has been completing an internship in LA for the past three months), and we got an early start on the day by hitting up the local market for picnic foods. I was not feeling so hot, as Peanut and I had gone out for happy hour the night before, and "happy hour" stretched to mean "happy hour plus four more hours". I decided a chocolate chip scone was in order, and that little guy totally fortified me for the following hours of free-flowing wine. Once we got to the festival, we realized that we really hadn't needed any picnic food, since every fancy restaurant in the area had a booth, and there was plenty of yummy things to munch on. Also, all of the wineries there had expanded their tastings and had brought four or five wines to pour. Good, good times. I managed to not be slovenly and spill wine all over myself, though I did not escape the chocolate from the chocolate-dipped strawberry. That ended up on my shirt. Sunday was spent lounging around. Peanut got some new gym shoes. We did a little grocery shopping. I did not go to Spinning, and it felt good.
My desire to move to Seattle came rushing back this weekend. I'm just not entirely happy with my job, and I am entirely unhappy about not being able to afford a home here. Those are two biggies, in my book. I'm a little intimidated about picking up and moving again, though. When I've done that before, I was young and unencumbered. I didn't have a lot of material possessions, I didn't even think about where I was going to live (when I moved from DC to San Diego); I just did it. Now that I'm all responsible and shit, it kind of freaks me out a little to think about the logistics of moving a household. Both Peanut and I would have to find jobs, he would have to enroll in school, we'd have to find a place to rent while we looked for a house. I don't know. But then I think that I don't want to stay in Santa Barbara forever. To quote Miss Doxie: I need to shit or get out of the kitchen, no?

Up on the soapbox

2004-10-07T15:33:00.000-07:00

You know, I haven't talked much about the upcoming election here. I think it's mostly because when I try to articulate what and how I'm feeling, I get frustrated and angry and a touch of the mean reds. I am so absolutely terrified about what is going to happen on November 2. I am so utterly horrified at the possibility that he will be re-elected that I literally can't think straight. I watched the debate last week, and will watch again tomorrow. I watched as Kerry did an incredible job appearing strong and articulate and focused, while Bush looked dopey and resentful and struggled for his words. Struggled to address the simple questions posed to him; struggled to appear confident about our involvement in Iraq. I watched on Tuesday as Cheney said, with a straight face, "If we had to do it (Iraq) over again, we wouldn't change a thing". Jesus fucking Christ, Cheney, do you not have a TV?? Do you not read the newspaper? Do you not have intelligence in Iraq right this very moment reporting to you what a fucking nightmare it is?? I watched as both Bush and Cheney failed to respond to the fact that there is no connection between al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein. That there is no connection between Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. That we focused so much time and energy on hunting and capturing Saddam, that the hunt for bin Laden fell by the wayside. Why do they refuse to address these points? Do they really think that the American people are so dumb as to not know what is really going on? Ugh, and even as I typed that sentence, the sad fact remains that yes, there is a huge contingency of Americans that are so ignorant as to not question the authority and decisions of this administration, and that is sad. That is why the polls are showing (at this moment, in any case) that 49% of the votes are going to go to Bush. God.
The issues that are most important to me are the ones that affect me directly. Right off the bat, I would never, ever vote for a candidate that didn't believe whole-heartedly in a women's right to choose. EVER. We are just one Supreme Court Justice away from an overturned Roe-v-Wade, and that is not something with which I am willing to gamble. Even if he is re-elected and none of the Justices retire, he will still continue to chip away at Roe in whatever way he can. Also? If you crap all over the environment in favor of big business? Probably not going to get my vote, either. If you are the first president since Hoover to have lost more jobs than gained them in your first four years as president (I'm looking at you, Bush), I don't think I'd be casting my vote your way. And if you're opposed to gay marriage? Fuck off, because those opposed to gay marriage tend to base that decision mostly, if not wholly, on religion, and hello?? Separation of church and state, anyone? Listen, if you don't like Kerry, that's fine. Vote for a third party candidate. Shit, vote for Nadar, if you need to. Here's hoping for a celebration in 26 days rather than a funeral.

The weekend wrap up

2004-10-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

And how was your weekend? Mine was lovely, thanks for asking. Friday was the big BBQ bash on the beach that Peanut's company hosted. They went public on Thursday, so there was much to celebrate, and celebrate we did with not-the-best wine, suspicious beer (Island Brewing Company? Wha?) but some yummy food. If people want to have large quantities of wine on the cheap, why don't they ask me?? There are so many local wines that are not expensive and are quite good, but I digress. Peanut's co-workers are all quite fun, so we continued the party downtown at a bar, but I quickly found that I am totally getting old and that by 8 I really needed to go home (to be fair, we had been drinking since 1, so, you know, I'm not completely lame). Saturday after a lovely breakfast at the beach we went to the Avocado Festival , which was kind of a suckfest, but what can ya do? I took the adventurous route and tried some avocado ice cream (meh, not so good), but then changed my mind and tossed that in favor of a snow cone. It was tasty. Shaun of the Dead was all that I hoped it would be, in that while it was most certainly a romantic comedy with zombies, it was also really funny in that dry British wit sort of way. Two enthusiastic thumb's up. After the movie I was craving some comfort food, so we made an impromptu pasta feast. Well, really just some cheese ravioli and garlic breadsticks, but it was really quite delicious. I also did some damage with some Snackwell lemon cookies that night, but my stomach totally let me know how pissed it was for the following 24 hours. Sunday morning was Spinning, and then a trip down South with JR to find the perfect accessories for our Halloween costumes. We didn't have much luck, but I still spent $70 at Target. On nothing. How exactly does that happen?? In any case, I'm excited about Halloween, as we're going to this place, and I will be a naughty nun, and the Peanut will be a priest with some devilish accents. Good, good times. I'm trying to find exactly the right corset and fishnets that will make this costume fab, and I haven't had any luck yet. I shall persevere.

Me Me Me

2004-10-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

First, shout out to Chiara. I emailed you, and it bounced back. Love to talk to you about the debate!
Here's a meme that I stole from Type A. As did she, I've bolded the stuff I've done. Read and enjoy.....
01. bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. swam with wild dolphins
03. climbed a mountain
04. taken a ferrari for a test drive
05. been inside the great pyramid
06. held a tarantula
07. taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. said "i love you" and meant it
09. hugged a tree
10. done a striptease
11. bungee jumped
12. visited paris
13. watched a lightning storm at sea
14. stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
15. seen the northern lights
16. gone to a huge sports game
17. walked the stairs to the top of the leaning tower of pisa
18. grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. touched an iceberg
20. slept under the stars
21. changed a baby's diaper
22. taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. watched a meteor shower
24. gotten drunk on champagne
25. given more than you can afford to charity
26. looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. had a food fight
29. bet on a winning horse
30. taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. asked out a stranger
32. had a snowball fight
33. photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. held a lamb
36. enacted a favorite fantasy
37. taken a midnight skinny dip
38. taken an ice cold bath
39. had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. seen a total eclipse
41. ridden a roller coaster
42. hit a home run
43. fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. adopted an accent for an entire day
46. visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. had two hard drives for your computer
49. visited all 50 states
50. loved your job for all accounts
51. taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. had amazing friends
54. danced with a stranger in a foreign country (Yasu, Alexi!)
55. watched wild whales
56. stolen a sign
57. backpacked in europe
58. taken a road-trip
59. rock climbing
60. lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. midnight walk on the beach
62. sky diving
63. visited ireland
64. been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. in a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. visited japan
67. bench-pressed your own weight
68. milked a cow
69. alphabetized your records
70. pretended to be a superhero
71. sung karaoke
72. lounged around in bed all day
73. posed nude in front of strangers
74. scuba diving
75. got it on to "let's get it on" by marvin gaye
76. kissed in the rain
77. played in the mud
78. played in the rain
79. gone to a drive-in theater
80. done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. visited the great wall of china
82. discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. dropped windows in favor of something better
84. started a business
85. fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. toured ancient sites
87. taken a martial arts class
88. sword fought for the honor of a woman
89. played d&d for more than 6 hours straight
90. gotten married
91. been in a movie
92. crashed a party
93. loved someone you shouldn't have
94. kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. gotten divorced
96. had sex at the office
97. gone without food for 5 days
98. made cookies from scratch
99. won first prize in a costume contest
100. ridden a gondola in venice
101. gotten a tattoo
102. found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. rafted the snake river
104. been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. got flowers for no reason
106. masturbated in a public place
107. got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. performed on stage
110. been to las vegas
111. recorded music
112. eaten shark
113. had a one-night stand
114. gone to thailand
115. seen siouxsie live
116. bought a house
117. been in a combat zone
118. buried one/both of your parents
119. shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. been on a cruise ship
121. spoken more than one language fluently
122. gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. bounced a check
124. performed in rocky horror
125. read - and understood - your credit report
126. raised children
127. recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. created and named your own constellation of stars
130. taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. called or written your congress person
133. picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once?
135. walked the golden gate bridge
136. sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. had an abortion or your female partner did
138. had plastic surgery
139. survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. wrote articles for a large publication
141. lost over 100 pounds
142. held someone while they were having a flashback
143. piloted an airplane
144. petted a stingray
145. broken someone's heart
146. helped an animal give birth
147. been fired or laid off from a job - laid off, thank you very much
148. won money on a t.v. game show
149. broken a bone
150. killed a human being
151. gone on an african photo safari
152. ridden a motorcycle
153. driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. ridden a horse
158. had major surgery
159. had sex on a moving train
160. had a snake as a pet
161. hiked to the bottom of the grand canyon
162. slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. visited more foreign countries than u.s. states
165. visited all 7 continents
166. taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. eaten kangaroo meat
168. fallen in love at an ancient mayan burial ground
169. been a sperm or egg donor
170. eaten sushi
171. had your picture in the newspaper
172. had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime - Well, they were as healthy as can be expected
173. changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. gotten someone fired for their actions - does this count if I did the firing?
175. gone back to school
176. parasailed
177. changed your name
178. petted a cockroach
179. eaten fried green tomatoes
180. read the iliad
181. selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. taught yourself an art from scratch
185. killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. skipped all your school reunions
188. communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. been elected to public office
190. written your own computer language
191. thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. built your own pc from parts
194. sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. had a booth at a street fair
196. dyed your hair
197. been a dj
198. found out someone was going to dump you via livejournal
199. written your own role playing game
200. been arrested - Sshhhh. I was young and foolish.

Work blah blah Pink Flamingos

2004-09-29T13:51:00.000-07:00

Ugh. Work has been a little much this week. And wasn't it just last week that I was saying that I was in an I'm-so-bored-at-work-I-can't-stand-it mode? Yes, well, the work gods heard me, and laughed. An example: I have a quarterly report that I have to submit to our corporate office. Each quarter it ends up being fifteen or twenty pages of blah blah blah, here's what I've been doing this quarter, blah, blah, blah. This quarter? One hundred and thirty three pages. One. Three. Three. And it's not that I've been particularly busy this quarter, it's that corporate has decided that my word isn't quite enough, that I need to provide four different kinds of documentation. Why have one when you can have four? It's madness.
So we had a little earthquake yesterday, which is always a hoot. I actually noticed the water in my giant plastic mug shaking before I felt it, and then I dove for the doorway. For those of you not living in Cali, that is what you're supposed to do...hide under your desk or get in a doorway, and sadly, there is so much crap under my desk that I don't think I could fit under there. It passed in about twenty seconds, and all went back to normal. Is it weird that sometimes I wish those things were a little more dramatic, so that we would just have to go home, or at least have an interruption to the workday? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't welcome a natural disaster or anything quite that extreme, but any reason I can find to go home and lie on the couch and watch bad afternoon TV (or these days, catch up on the ten gazilllion things that have piled up on my DVR) is okay with me.
I saw the fabulous new John Waters film this weekend. It's not like he ever deviates from his formula, but it never fails to delight me. If you've never seen any of his earlier work (yes, earlier than Hairspray), you'd do well to seek them out. Pink Flamingos is particularly good. And when I say "good", I mean so incredibly bad and naughty and awful, that it's good. You know what I'm saying.
Yeah, this entry has been absolutely fascinating. That is totally the kind of week that I am having, so I shall bid you goodbye. Perhaps I'll have a super fantastic Thursday, and will write to tell you allllll about it.

A Romantic Comedy, with Zombies

2004-09-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

Today my boss was awarded some...award...for exemplary service. What this means to me is, expensed lunch at lovely fancy restaurant on the beach. And because all of the higher ups were there, as well as most of my department, it ended up being a three hour lunch. How great is that? I was sitting at my desk this morning wondering how the fuck I was going to make it through eight hours, and lo and behold, I didn't have to worry. I have one of those jobs where I am either insanely, insanely busy and stressed and overworked, or I am bored to tears. Sadly, I am in the bored-to-tears mode right now. I work far better under pressure and under the gun, so when I don't have that going on, I get into an "I hate my job and have to find another one immediately" frame of mind. That leads me to think about the fact that there really are not any jobs in Santa Barbara these days, at least none in my field, so that means that I have to think about moving some place else. Seattle comes to mind. San Francisco. I can't really consider moving back East because the Peanut is delicate and can't deal with the cold weather. Oh who am I kidding? Neither can I. I have floor to ceiling windows in my office, and 99% when I look out of them? I see blue skies and sunshine and loads of trees. I've become the most weather-spoiled person ever, and there is no turning back.
I am looking so forward to seeing the new John Waters film this weekend, because sex crazed housewives? Are funny. We also may see Shaun of the Dead, because the tag line is "A Romantic Comedy, with Zombies", and that makes me giggle. I am also out of things to read right now, so a nice long trip to the bookstore is in order, and because vegetables are good, a nice long trip to the Farmer's Market is in order, as well. It will be a good weekend.

Hey look! Two subjects that have nothing to do with each other!

2004-09-22T15:33:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else incredibly creeped out by the new Burger King commercial where the King himself is in bed with some guy eating a breakfast sandwich? And the King kind of looks a little like King Friday from Mr. Rogers? That is the stuff nightmares are made of, my friend. I also really, really hate every single Carl's Jr commercial that was ever made, because why should I be enticed by some dirty frat boy who smells his disgusting shoes while thinking about doing laundry, and then takes a big 'ol bite of his burger, which just happens to be dripping all over his shirt? And there is always some macho guy talking about how men are simple and women don't understand them and don't they all just want to eat a bunch of big sloppy burgers (I'm generalizing here, so bare with me). Another problem I have with those of you in the marketing to the masses field of business (K, you do good work, so disregard), is the liberal use of the blaring alarm in commercials. What marketing genius decided that this particular sound will really, really make me want to eat your ho-ho's or swoops or whatever it is you're selling?Because people? It doesn't at all. I think that in the future I just need to DVR everything so that I can always fast forward through the commercials, because clearly? The commercials make me crazy in the head.
Thanks ever so much for letting me get all of that out.
So in the past four days I've done two Spinning classes, two Step classes and two weight sessions. Let me get it out there right now that I am not bragging. I am simply taking note of the fact that this is fucking ridiculous, and tonight I am going to order pizza and lay on the couch. In Spinning last night we did this thing called Twin Peaks. Let me paint you a picture: it's a 45 minute class, so the first five minutes we warm up, and then for the next fifteen minutes we do a standing climb, then a five minute recovery (and I use that term loosely), and then another fifteen minute standing climb. Then there's some stretching or something at the end, but by then I am incoherent and sweaty and smelly and can't really focus. Standing climbs are hard. And a half and hour of standing climbs? Not so much fun. I was toying around with taking a hip hop class tomorrow, but I've decided that I'm not quite ready to humiliate myself in that manner just yet. I also need to rope in several friends for back up, because I ain't doing that shit alone.

Wine. Woohoo!

2004-09-17T10:54:00.000-07:00

Oh happy day. I've just made plans with the fabulous K and J for our second annual Harvest festival excursion. Harvest is this great thing that happens once a year here in Santa Barbara (actually in Santa Ynez) where about 10 gazillion wineries are represented, and there is food and music and general debauchery. Every time the four of us go to one of these wine events we have grand plans to be responsible this time. You know, hit every third or fourth winery and taste just one of the wines, instead of hitting every single blessed one until there is nothing left. I think last year we ended up tasting a few of the wines twice, just because we could. I will wisely choose a better color shirt to wear this year, as last year's pale pink did not fare so well, and the wonderful Wine Away? Doesn't work so well the third time you've spilled. This will be an especially good time, as K and J have recently moved back to Seattle, and I miss them, dammit. They are the friends who you can depend on when you call and say, "Hey, let's drink a few bottles of wine and go to a fabulously expensive restaurant tonight", because you know they will always be up for it. That makes me happy, and now I am sad because it is no more. Of course, now I have an excuse to go to Seattle and do much of the same there.
Speaking of wine, the Peanut and I are heading up to Santa Ynez tomorrow to do some tasting, and perhaps attend a birthday party for one of the winemakers. It should be a hoot. Tonight I'm having a pedicure at my favorite, favorite new spa. It is just so freakin fabulous I can't stand it. They have the best massaging chairs and a paraffin wax treatment that is to die, and giant flat screen TVs and the best magazines. I think I am in love.

It's totally not fun to be an adult

2004-09-14T11:11:00.000-07:00

I really need to get myself a financial advisor. Or something. I've come to this conclusion this morning while sending out my monthly bills, and finding that I have to rummage through too much crap on my desk (why yes, I do take care of my household bills while at work) to even find my bills, and then I have to check my day planner for any reminders of online payments, and then I have to, you know, balance my checkbook. It is all far too much for me to handle anymore. It doesn't help that the Peanut has delegated (and when I say delegated, I mean he doesn't do it so I do) the bill paying to me entirely. I don't think he's written a check for himself in at least two or three years. We've finally decided to take that step and get a joint bank account, since I sometimes fail on the coordination of what bills were paid with whose account, so perhaps some of the burden will be lifted, but Jesus Christ. Too. Much.

I'm also trying to coordinate our Las Vegas trip, which has its tricky pitfalls. This trip is going to be a surprise birthday celebration for our friend Big D, who is turning 30 on Halloween weekend, and he doesn't know a thing about it. There has been much secret planning between JR (Big D's woman) and I, because we'll be picking him up at work that Friday and whisking him off to Vegas to meet up with about thirty friends. So there is the planning of the flights, and talking to Big D's boss about picking him up early from work that day, and finding the best group rate at a not-ghetto hotel (probably here) and confirming who is going and when they are arriving. There is also the important factor of what we will be doing for costumes on Saturday. I actually haven't dressed up for Halloween since college, but the concept of flappers has come up, and that intrigues me. So we shall see. It will be a hoot once we are there, but it is giving me such the headache in the planning stages. Come to think of it, it's going to be a crazy few weeks, because the week before Vegas I'll be in San Francisco for a conference, and then three days after Vegas I'm going back East for a family reunion. The Peanut and I are kind of bummed about where we are staying in Vegas, because each time we go we tend to try someplace new, and we had grand plans of staying here, and more specifically at their new tower, THEhotel, on this trip.

My car's emergency brake light has been on for, oh, I don't know, three months? I've done my best to ignore it, because that's how I am with my car, but recently I've been thinking how much it would suck if my brakes decided to stop working while I'm going 80 on the freeway. Also? There's this obnoxious squeaking noise when I drive. I took it in to a mechanic this morning, and am now waiting to hear the damage. I'm kind of afraid. What if it's thousands of dollars? What if I've waited so long that it's beyond repair? I think I'm probably being a little overly dramatic, but these sorts of things freak me out. And I just don't think it's fair to have to spend money on things like car maintenance. As I shared with Amalah today, I am far more comfortable buying expensive purses. Alas, we shall see.

Root canals and LSD, all in one neat little entry

2004-09-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

So it has been just a fabulous week here around Chez Ameliorate. I started to get a bit of a toothache on Sunday while attending a sweltering-but-fun hat party. I popped a few Aleve and had some more wine, but the toothache, she persisted. By Monday it was an all consuming pain, complete with me in the fetal position on the living room floor, crying and wishing for sudden death. I called my dentist Tuesday morning and told her that I needed a root canal (because this very thing happened to me on Memorial Day weekend, as well, and that turned into a root canal), and she told me that I had already "used up" my dental insurance for the year, and that it would be $1400. Umm, yeah. I work for a health care company, and I seriously have the worst dental insurance ever. Ever. The Peanut, because he is awesome and loves me ever so much, said he would front me the money, and then I had to wait two more days before Dr. P could fit me in for an appointment. People, these were the worst two days ever. Apparently, my ever-aging body decided that it would allow no pain killer to both kill the pain and prevent me from vomiting up everything I had ever eaten. I tried Darvocet, Vicodin and Vioxx (which made me immediately suspicious because of the two x's at the end), and all of them made me incredibly pukey, while not really making the pain go away. There was an ugly scene at the pharmacy when I didn't think the pharmacist was moving quickly enough to fill my prescription, and I really should pop in there and apologize, but what can ya do? When I finally got into Dr. P's chair, she found that I had an abscess in my jaw bone. That is such bad news to hear. She gave me the root canal along with a stern warning to never, ever wait this long again to take care of a cavity (which I really, really do plan to heed) and a nice dose of antibiotics. Ugh.
Before the tooth fiasco, I did manage to see both Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite, both of which I thoroughly enjoyed. Well, Garden State I loved, loved, loved, and I love Zach Braff and I love the soundtrack and well, just, love. Napoleon Dynamite made me laugh out loud and is so ridiculous and silly that everyone should see it. I then watched Raising Victor Vargas, Laurel Canyon and House of Yes in the comfort of my own home. Thanks so much, Netflix. All three movies had a kind of slow meandering pace, which I tend to like, but I couldn't quite get passed the repeated appearance of Tori Spelling in House of Yes. It just didn't sit well with me. JR and I went to Spinning Sunday morning, and then had the Best Trader Joe's Experience Ever. You know how sometimes you go to the grocery store and you find the best stuff? Or when you go and find everything you need? Or when you go and everyone is friendly and it's not crowded and it is just plain pleasant? Our trip was all of these things and more. Maybe all of the planets were aligned or something, I don't know. It went really well, though.
This weekend the Peanut and I will be checking out a new restaurant here in town, Quantum. It is supposed to be fabulous, and we were unable to get in there last Friday night, so wish us luck tonight.
Oh, and for anyone playing along? I found out last week that the Peanut's mom moved to London in the late 60's to participate in a cult that used LSD therapy, and she underwent 50 or 60 episodes. This explains so very, very much about his mother.

Is it 5 yet?

2004-09-01T15:52:00.000-07:00

I am really just too excited to go home in exactly one hour and eight minutes. I haven't gone straight home from work in well over a week, and I am fucking exhausted. Plus, we were out of town this past weekend, so I wasn't around to clean my house or buy groceries or really do anything productive at all, and the touch of OCD in me is coming out as I sit here at my desk and go just a little crazy thinking about the mess that is my house. About a week ago, the Peanut and I decided that we really needed to clean out our bedroom. Specifically, we needed to do something with the giant pile of crap that our bedroom closet had become. We spent about five hours sorting through clothes and shoes and computer stuff and camera stuff, and made quite a bit of progress. However. That progress made it just about out to the living room, where various piles of, just, stuff are currently sitting, waiting to have something, anything, done with them. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed just thinking about it, but yet strangely calm knowing that in.....one hour and two minutes, I will be at home, doing something with the piles. JR and Susan have spent the better part of the day trying to convince me that perhaps a shopping trip to Ventura (we really have no chain stores in SB, like Target or Old Navy or anything, really, so occasionally there is a trip down south to visit said stores) would be far more fun than cleaning, but I am holding strong. Also, once I've gotten my house under control, I can then make a delicious and nutritious meal and not have a Pizookie at BJ's instead, which I know is what the girls have planned after a hard evening of shopping. I should also make note that JR and Susan successfully convinced me on Monday that I should not go to the grocery store or go home and clean, but rather I should hang out and be silly and watch 13 Going on 30, which I totally succumbed to. Fucking peer pressure.
How fabulous is it that this weekend is a glorious three day weekend? Pretty fabulous, I think. I plan to drink some wine and be outside and read a bit and see a few movies, and lots of other things that I haven't thought of just yet.
I just found out that I have to go to San Francisco for a conference next month, and of course the first thing I did was to make reservations at First Crush, which is seriously one of my favorite restaurants in the whole world. The Peanut and I ate there a few months back with K and J, who have recently abandoned us to buy a fabulous house and dog in Seattle, but I digress. We were in town for a wine festival (one that ended in such drunken debauchery that we shall never speak of it. J passed out in the elevator? I'm looking at you, buddy) and ate at First Crush, and I've never had such perfect, perfect scallops before, ever. Ever. And the cheese plate was ridiculous, and I can't even talk about the wine. In any case, I've convinced my officemate, who will be going to the conference with me, that we should go up a day early and eat there and be happy. So, yah.
I cannot believe that it is not time to go home yet. Goddamn it.

San Diego in 48 short hours

2004-08-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

The Peanut and I spent the weekend in San Diego. He grew up there, and I lived there for two years, so we didn't do anything too touristy or anything, but it was mostly a good time. I say mostly, because the Peanut's mother (heretofore known as the Spawn) is spawned directly from the loins of Satan himself, so it is always a little tricky to spend time with her. We spent most of the day on Saturday with her, but I was able to escape to AB and UD's house at about 5. Peanut ducked out of there to take pictures with some of his old friends that evening, but was subjected to a particularly unpleasant brunch with she and several of their family friends the following day. It would take me forever and a day to describe the levels of craziness that the Spawn inflicts upon those around her, but here's a little synopsis: She is obsessed, I mean, obsessed, with the current state of politics in this country, and this obsession has consumed every breathing moment for her. Luckily, she is of the anti-Bush persuasion, which makes it a bit more bearable, but it still reeks of the crazy. After lunch on Saturday we went back to her house to watch C-Span for 3 hours. Recorded C-Span. And not any particular show or event, just, C-Span. Now, I was a political science major and consider myself to by fairly well informed and interested about the current goings on, but Jesus H. Christ, three hours of fucking C-Span?? When someone would say something that she agreed with, she would hoot and holler and wave her arms around as though she were being saved or something. If she was in opposition to something that was being discussed, she would yell and curse at the TV. This is a woman whom we haven't seen in almost a year, and this is how she chose to spend the visit. She fancies herself to be quite the crunchy, crystals-about-the-house, psychic-visiting hippie, and I guess she is, but she is also the most judgmental, hostile, paranoid person I think I've ever met. It sucks, really, because if you took out the bad stuff, she would be an incredible person. She's well read, well traveled, informed and has great taste in art and film. It's just a bummer that she has treated the Peanut like shit for most of his childhood (so much so that he was emancipated from her at 16), and continues to find fault with almost everything about him and about our relationship.
So there's that.
I had a great time Saturday night with AB and UD, and with the cousins, drinking loads of wine and talking for hours. AB and I stayed up and watched bad TV, and then ordered a pizza late, late, late, and it was delicious. Sunday we had Indian for lunch, and then the Peanut and I headed back up north. I stopped by my beloved Sephora and purchased loads of shiny new products, including a Stila eyeshadow that is encased in a brown leather case, and I think I am in love with it. I then cursed the fact that there is no Sephora in Santa Barbara the whole way home.
Sometimes life just isn't fair, you know?

Ah, youth.

2004-08-23T16:39:00.000-07:00

I've spent the day feeling very nostalgic for days gone by. And by "days gone by" I mean my early twenties, when I had almost no responsibility and took too many drugs and went out most nights, and somehow through all of it I trucked through school. This feeling was brought on last night by VH1. Yes, yes I am totally lame, thanks for asking. Actually, it was VH1 Classic Alternative that did it. I was flipping through the channels, and was amazed to see Sonic Youth (100%, if you're interested) on the TV, and when that was over, on comes PJ Harvey (Sheela Na Gig), and then, as if that weren't enough, The Church (Reptile) came on. And really, that's all it took to throw me back ten years, to my funky, amazing, insanely cheap apartment in Pittsburgh, where I lived with three of my closest friends, all of who were crazy artists and filmmakers and photographers. There was literally never a dull moment in those years. We were always out, seeing music, mostly, or going to a gallery to see a friend's art, or some happening around town. We were all in school and had menial jobs, and we all managed to do quite a bit of experimenting in the drug department while maintaining some semblance of reality. There was always, always music on (I don't even think we owned a TV for quite a while), and took many trips to Jerry's in Oakland, or Paul's in Bloomfield to procure even more music. All four of us loved to cook, so we would get a little high and cook, cook, cook. Or bake, sometimes. I probably made 5 zillion mile high lemon meringue pies in those days, and they were always gone by the next morning (maybe that's how I ended up needing to go to the gym every blessed day now). Those days ended when I transferred from Pitt to George Washington, but not in a bad way. Just different. DC had such a different vibe than Pittsburgh, and I was living in a dorm for the first time in my life. I made some new, equally amazing friends, and was still obsessed with music, but in addition to Sonic Youth and PJ and Sebadoh, there were The Roots, and Jurassic 5 and DJ Shadow. I still love music, but it doesn't define me and dictate my social life the way it did when I was younger. I watch a lot more TV now, and spend more time eating in yummy restaurants than I do in smoky bars (smoking in bars? was there ever such a time??) watching some band. Funny how a little benign VH1 can stir up so many memories.

Perhaps I should join the Junior League, yes?

2004-08-18T15:06:00.000-07:00

Office has been so strange this week. We've had a new recruiter start, and we've had several visitors from some of our satellite offices visiting, so everyone has been on their absolute best behavior. Which is...odd. It's not like I work with a bunch of ogres, but there is always some drama going on. Usually the various assistants are at each other's throats, and the two people in the office who have constant, illegal, monkey sex are angry at each other for one reason or another. Or perhaps it's to throw off any suspicion. Who can say? But in any case, it's been interesting to see all the smiles plastered on the faces around the conference table at our Wednesday meeting, where usually there is abject boredom or open hostility.
The new recruiter, with whom I am now sharing office space, is very nice, very cute, very Junior League. I took her to lunch today and picked her brain about her recent wedding and her recently purchased home, both subjects of which are like porn to me. I am always amazed when young professionals in this town are able to both pay for their own wedding and buy their own homes (both of which she and her husband did, just months apart). Every wedding venue here is ridiculously expensive (the Peanut and I just got a price from the winery where we were thinking of having our not-yet-official wedding, and I almost died), and the median house price in Santa Barbara just reached $1.1 million. How do people do it?? Our combined household income is just fine, thankyaverymuch, but we can't even think of buying a home right now. It really is incredibly unfair. It is also unfair that we rent from a total and complete fascist. No pets, no plants on the balcony, no BBQ, no smoking. Total. Fucking. Fascist. There are positives, of course. We live really close to the beach and have ocean views from every room. It's fairly spacious, in a nice neighborhood, and it's not too expensive. But no plants??? Ugh.
And as a poetic end to the entry, I can now hear my assistant and the receptionist arguing. As though they were two, and in a fucking sandbox. Finally, things are back to normal.

All of them bitches

2004-08-13T16:20:00.000-07:00

So holy shit. I was almost robbed in Ann Taylor today. Gentle, civilized, Ann Taylor. Is there nowhere that is safe anymore??
I was trying some things on during my lunch hour, and popped out of the dressing room to grab something else....for just a few seconds, I swear....leaving all of my stuff in the dressing room. When I returned, there was this burly, baseball cap wearing motherfucker bent over my purse. I think I was in shock and mumbled something that resembled, "Huh? What the...huh?" and then he shoved me aside and booked right out. My wallet was on top of my purse with the credit cards pulled out and the cash holder thingy unzipped, but luckily he didn't get anything. When I told the clerk, who had just then noticed Mr. Burly Motherfucker, she immediately called security, who arrived in a flash. I, of course, immediately called the Peanut to tell him the drama, who then magically appeared at the mall within ten minutes to, um, do something? I'm still not sure what his plans were, but I appreciated the rescue gesture. As we were walking to my car, I saw him. Just chilling at an outdoor table at Starbucks, without a care in the world. And luckily, without my cash and credit cards either. Bitches. When I pointed him out to the Peanut, he saw me do so and ran like the wind. I wish I had some awesome end to this saga, like "And then the Peanut tackled him to the ground and made him wish for quick death", but I don't. I did get a really cute shirt and pair of pants, though. What, did you think almost getting knocked out by some thug was going to prevent me from completing my shopping transaction?

Money for nothing.

2004-08-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks, financially, have been my own little corner of hell. I had decided that although I had been with the same bank for almost five years, it was time for a change. My bank, as it were, sucked. Still sucks, I'm sure, so I went to Shiny New Bank with high hopes of finding bank nirvana. SNB was fabulous. The special new accounts person couldn't have been more friendly, and she made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She told me tales of automatic checking to savings transfers and lines of credit for overdraft protection and no monthly fees and just all sorts of goodness. She let me pick out some snazzy "Napa Valley" checks for free (whereas Ghetto Old Bank charged me for even the plainest of checks) and gave me a Mastercard debit card that was pretty. I left satisfied that I had made the right decision, and not at all daunted by the fact that I now needed to transfer the 50 kazillion automatic debits that come out of my checking account each month to my new account. Having just a touch of the OCD, I made a list, complete with phone numbers to call and dates to make the switch and charged forth with the changing. Most went smoothly. Gym? No problem. Car payment? Check. Netflix? Without a hitch. Student loans? Um, yeah, not so well. The neat folks at Big Bad Student Loan Place decided to ignore my request to change bank accounts and used the old bank account. Where there was no money. And where overdraft fees were incurred. When I realized what they had done, I thought, no problem, I'm sure they'll rectify it and refund the overdraft charges with a big fat sheepish apology. But not so much. It's frightening that I've found myself literally yelling into the phone to yet another "supervisor" who is telling me that they can't possible reverse it, even though they've double charged me for the month. I went to GW, where I paid a pretty penny for my education, so the student loan payments? Not so small. I've cursed at them. I may have even called one or two of them a not so nice name (this after a week of playing nice and professional). I still don't have any resolution.
And SNB? Not so shiny. They've decided to not extend the overdraft protection to me, which, well, sucks. Not that I'm out there bouncing checks left and right, but when something like the aforementioned student loan fiasco happens, I like to know I have a little back-up. Also? When my paycheck is direct deposited into my account, I have to wait 24 hours to use it. Um, people? I live in fucking Santa Barbara. It is expensive here. When it gets close to payday, I am just itching for that check to be deposited, and now I have to wait another 24 hours?? Fuck me. I'm totally going to keep my money under my mattress from now on.

Fiesta is for suckers

2004-08-09T14:19:00.000-07:00

So I was hypocritically sucked into Fiesta over the weekend. After I cursed it with all that I am worth, I was sucked in. My girls decided that we should really take advantage of being a local in Santa Barbara, and bathe in the glory that is crowded streets, drunken tourists and those waiting to smack you in the back of the head with a plastic egg full of confetti (oh yes, you haven't truly lived until you've been cracked a few times by fuckwads who think the egg-confetti combo is hilarious). I found myself in the beer garden around four-ish on Friday, a deliciously slurpee-like margarita in one hand and a cig in the other, basking in the glory of Fiesta. And really, it wasn't all bad. We ran into many friends who'd had the same idea as us, and were able to navigate the drunken tourists without incident. Since the Peanut works for one of those wacky dot coms who still like to provide liquor and food and party favors for their employees, he had been drinking since the morning time, so by the time he wandered into the beer garden to find me, he had a broken shoe and a need to tell me about it. Repeatedly. Lather, rinse, repeat with the broken shoe.
Saturday rolled around and we were Fiesta'd out (is that right? Fiesta'd?), so we headed up to Santa Ynez where the wine flows and the...gamblers....gamble? Whatev, there's a fancy newish casino up there, so we popped in to play a bit of blackjack in preparation for our yearly Vegas trip in October. I left $10 up, so I considered it a success. We then picked up a few of our wine shipments and did some tasting, and came home drunk and happy. Well, the Peanut was still hung over and somehow full of snot, so maybe he was not so happy. By this is all about me, right? Right?
JR and I did our best to boost the economy on Sunday and did some shopping after our Spinning class (after coming home to shower and change, of course. What am I, gross?). She successfully purchased a peasant shirt that wasn't too...peasanty, and I successfully purchased some lovely tidbits for my sistah's birthday, which I must now send to her house of mystery in New Jersey. OK, it's not really a house of mystery, but she's moving in with her boyfriend in New Jersey after having lived in Cali for the past five years, and I just don't know a thing about Jersey. So for me, house of mystery. JR and her man are staying with us this week while their landlord rips out their bedroom ceiling. I'm planning on being a fantastic host, complete with food, booze and hopefully a Netflix shipment.
Just call me Martha. Without, you know, the jail time.

Help me, Monkey

2004-08-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking alot about getting a helper monkey. I have too much going on, and somehow a personal assistant seems too fancy. No, seriously. I've put alot of thought into this, and I have a ton of just, things, that I have to do every day that I think a monkey could handle just fine. For example, every night when I come home I have this little list in my head of small tasks I have to accomplish before I settle in with a glass of wine, or before I drift off to yet another episode of Law and Order. There is dinner to be made, dishes to be done, gym bag to be packed, lunch for the following day to be decided upon, packed into my cheap ass generic tupperware and packed away into the free-gift-Clinique bag that is just large enough for lunch. The Peanut is no help in this regard; he has his own list, I suppose. Like, take pretty pictures, fuck around with said pictures on the computer, show me pretty pictures...you get the idea. Of course, the list just goes away on the weekends and blissful disorder and chaos takes over, and it's okay. During the week, though, I think a helper monkey would fit into our lives perfectly. I like monkeys alot, so it would be like having a cat or dog, but more useful, ya know? And maybe I could bring him to work to take care of the tasks that my assistant sucks at, or rather, doesn't want to do, like sending a kajillion faxes every day, making copies and Fed Exing stuff. Maybe he could even fill my water jug up so I don't have to walk all the way to the kitchen twelve times a day. This is a fantastic idea and I need to make it happen.
I'm going to call him Jeeves.

Damn you to hell, Kate Spade

2004-08-04T15:40:00.000-07:00

Last week I bought these super snazzy and pretty and fabulous Kate Spade sunglasses. I had visions of myself looking oh-so-stylish in them, and even thought about an outfit or two that would be particularly accessorized by Ms. Spade. The little hitch that I glossed over in these fantasies is that I totally can't see without my glasses, so said sunglasses would have to have my prescription inserted, otherwise I'd be flailing around blindly on foot and mowing down many a passers-by in my car. So I call my optometrist, whom I love love love, to discuss the prescription insertion, only to find that they've stopped accepting my insurance. Fuck. Me. The only place in the whole of Santa Barbara that now accepts my ghetto ass vision insurance is Costco. Now, I can totally get behind Costco for many things. Toilet paper, for example. Big ass tent for $70? Sounds fab. Plus, food samples? Love it. But the mumu-wearing glasses lady at Costco should burn a long, slow death in hell. Did I mention she had a mullet? You just don't see a lot of mullets around these parts, so that in itself was notable. She declared my glasses "trendy" and "like something Britney Spears would wear" and "there's no way you'll find anyone to make those things into prescription sunglasses". That sounds like a challenge to me, Mumu. So I called my old optometrist (props to Dr. Faucett!), and he can take care of it for me toot sweet, though I'm paying almost as much to have the prescription inserted as I paid for the glasses, instead of this shit being free at Costco.
Do you think this is what Kerry has in mind when he talks about health care reform? If so, that shit is resonating with me.

Office Space

2004-08-03T22:10:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I need to come up with more reasons to close my office door, for, you know, the whole day. Office is an open door kind of Office, complete with "suggestions" by upper management that solidarity will abound if we all just keep our doors open. Today I had a project that validly required me to close the door, and it was glorious. There were no interruptions, no unavoidable eaves dropping of cat fights, nothing. Just lovely, lovely silence. I have an office mate, and she is also a fan of the closed door, so we've decided to make it so. Make it necessary to keep out the common folk, the mouth breathers, the, uh, office dwellers. I'll keep you posted on our progress.
This weekend is the big Fiesta weekend here in Santa Barbara. It's supposed to be a celebration of the Mexican culture and history in the city, but really it's an excuse for every single bar, club and restaurant to have an exorbitant cover charge, and/or waiting lists to get in. All the UCSB kids invite all of their out of town friends to come to town on Fiesta weekend, thereby clogging the streets and fucking up the right of the locals to drink and eat peaceably. It is madness. The Peanut and I will either get out of Dodge for a day or two, or hide out in someone's house, lamenting about the ruin that is Fiesta. Viva la Fiesta my ass.

2004-08-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

Um, hi. Yeah. How's it going? I've decided that since I spend as much of my work day as possible reading other people's blogs, perhaps I should just go ahead and write a little something myself. Mostly, I get a little obsessed reading Amalah and Miss Doxie and Ampersand and Sundry, and aspire to make people just a little obsessed with me, as well.
I'm a recruiter, which basically means I try to snag the best and brightest people to come and work for the clients for which I recruit. There is lots of paperwork, lots of meetings, lots of schmoozing, and it can be incredibly exhausting. I live in Santa Barbara, which I love, and came here by way of San Diego by way of Washington, DC by way of Pittsburgh. I miss DC the most and fantasize about dragging my solidly west coast boyfriend back there someday, but I've been spoiled by the ocean and the breeze and all that is right with the world here in SB. The Peanut and I live by the beach, and don't take advantage of it nearly as much as we should. Peanut is a photographer and steals off to take pretty pictures at the beach far more than I make it the two blocks down there, but I guess it's the idea that we live so close, yes?
I am off to Spinning momentarily, and am quite sad about it. I am not one of those people who get high from exercise, you know? Those people who leave a class all shiny and smiling and grateful. No, that is not I. I am usually fairly bitter at the end of the class, and am having elaborate fantasies about eviscerating the instructor during the class. But alas, I am off.